How did I arrive at that?

WELL

‘Wellbeing’ became a core value in my life when I learned how the toxicity in our relationships, be it work or home, can impact our mental health. Our immunity takes a beating and our body suffers.

AND I presented myself several opportunities to be sick-to devalue myself. Here’s something I noticed when I was dealing with chronic health issues.

I would self-isolate. I would judge myself hard for being sick=not productive.

I am not good for anything. I am not good enough was a large part of the internal narrative. Clearly not in my resourceful state.

BUT

Cuing into ‘guidance’ is something I would do often and I discovered the value of ‘Self-Compassion.' I slowly started to pick momentum. It helped me address anxiety to a large extent and symptoms of depression. Researched work done by Dr. Kristin Neff became a part of my toolkit and organically turned into a module in my workshops which is focussed on ‘Showing up With Confidence'.  It is proven self-compassion increases well-being and resilience to stress. It has also been linked to healthier behaviours, greater motivation, confidence, and sense of personal responsibility.

So.

NOW.

Let's ensure we are on the same page. Self-Compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure or suffering. Instead of judging yourself, being critical or overidentifying with the problem, you practice mindfulness, self-kindness and common humanity.

 Understanding what each of these individual pillars mean will help us further.

• Mindfulness-Being aware of the physical, emotional or mental pain of the moment
• Self-Kindness-Treating ourselves with kindness, considering our own needs
• Common Humanity-Recognising that these experiences are a normal part of being human.

It is apparent, we all deal with disappointments in life, and our loved ones will disappoint us the most, so how do you come back to equilibrium will be your differentiator.

Do I do this right?Always?

No.

But it restores faith that I am capable of change. It is about responding with care.

It is about recognising I will ask myself three questions when I notice I feel destabilised.

• Am I being triggered? 
• Am I thinking helpful and kind thoughts? 
• If I am feeling a negative emotion, can I accept what I am feeling in the present moment? 

These three questions can be considered when you are focusing on self-compassion. Honestly, taking a daily inventory of your thoughts will help you break a pattern.

I am often amazed how a vast majority of us undermine the power of verbalising our feelings, emotions and thoughts but are so quick to pass judgements, and I don't have to do that to myself. When I practice self-compassion it is easier to extend compassion to others. In the process, I don't necessarily feel the pressure to rebuild relationships that isn't good for my wellbeing. For instance-I love flowers but in my current health state, I must stay away from them, is what my Homeo Doc suggested. I now recognise not all relationships are healthy and I don't have to carry the weight of dead relationships. I am capable of being toxic too, if I carry resentments, regrets, guilt, shame, agitation. So, yes, I don't have to carry negativity or bitterness, I can practice self-compassion, and break patterns that aren't serving me well.

AND what I deeply value is 'common humanity', it has helped me nurture meaningful relationships, with no facade and no filter, and that I will never take it for granted.

As a Speaker, as a facilitator I see merit in sharing my stories of shame and vulnerabilities, it has taught me the power of discernment, it's a gift, and in exchange others start to accept “I’m human too; I’m not perfect.” YAY.

What a mission to be on? #grateful and unbelievably blessed.

Sources-

https://attheu.utah.edu/facultystaff/how-to-practice-self-compassion/

https://self-compassion.org

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mental-health/4-ways-to-boost-your-self-compassion