WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY

Something happens when you become a parent; the world and his Aunt think they have carte blanche to tell you exactly how to raise your kids. Sometimes even strangers.

The thing is, if you already lack confidence or doubt yourself – any slight perceived criticism is going to cause an emotional reaction.

If you are already telling yourself that you are a rubbish Mother and putting yourself down, when somebody else comments, you will see it as proof that you were right all along.

Most of the time, people really do have the best intentions. But it isn’t about what other people say, it’s about how you interpret what they say and subsequently respond to it.

If you had complete faith and confidence in your own abilities you wouldn’t give a hoot what other people think.

You need to start focussing on what you are good at. Stop looking out for all the times you feel you failed. Give yourself praise for trying your best. As Mothers, we always try our best with the information we have to hand. Focus on how hard you are trying instead.

COMPARING

As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy.

In this sparkly, polished Insta age. The opportunity to compare ourselves is always in our faces.

When we doubt our abilities as a parent, we start to form beliefs about ourselves. Then we go out and look for evidence to back up that belief.

So, if you have a belief that you are a bad parent, you will start comparing yourself to other Mums to confirm the belief. And you won’t notice the evidence that you are a good parent.

That’s why we can’t help but compare ourselves to other people.

The thing is. Despite how much you hate it. Despite how crap it makes you feel. You have no control over what other people say or post.

But you do have control of yourself. Your thoughts, reactions, beliefs, actions.

When somebody says or posts something that makes you feel like rubbish. It’s not about what they said. It’s about what you think about yourself.

You can’t control what other people say or post on social media. What you can do though is change your opinion of yourself. So that anything anyone else says just bounces off you. That’s the key.

And you need to start by being kind and gentle and compassionate to yourself.

PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF

Have you fallen into the trap of setting yourself impossibly high standards? Standards that are rigid, inflexible and easy to break.

It’s a trap a lot of Mums fall into. You want the best for your kids but it shouldn’t be at the expense of your own wellbeing.

When you don’t achieve the standards you set yourself, you tell yourself off.

You know the kind of thing. My child must only have one hour screen time a week. My child must only ever eat organic food. My child will always ‘behave’ in public. My child must always look pristine. If that doesn’t happen, you believe you’re a bad parent.

Constantly telling yourself off chips away at your sense of self-worth. If you keep telling yourself you’re a bad parent eventually you start to believe it.

You need to loosen the slack my friend. If you want to hate yourself, carry on. But if you want to be happy, you need to cut yourself a break.

It’s okay to want the best for your kids, but you still need to think about yourself too. As they say, a happy Mum equals happy children. And constantly telling yourself off isn’t going to make you happy.

It’s okay if some days are better than others. You are only human. Instead of telling yourself off, try telling yourself you’ve tried your best instead. 

WOULD YOU LIKE TO FEEL 10 X MORE CONFIDENT IN 30 DAYS?

I have a created a super simple calendar that gives you daily prompts to help you boost your confidence tenfold in just 30 days. Each prompt is quick and easy to integrate into your busy life and become a more confident Mum.

Grab your download here