I met someone yesterday. We asked each other what brought us to where we were. No matter the reasons in between, we both ended up meeting at the end of a chain of events that started with the pandemic. Yes. I know. We are tired of the topic. Still, we can't deny that rude and unforeseen shock we all got. I'm not talking just about the virus, I'm talking about all those agitated questions, fears, tears and challenges that came with it, like that unrequested message Sophie got in "Sophie's World" (1991).

Unlike her, we didn't get the message in our mailboxes: for us it was a kick to our own, very deep, foundations. 2020 brought a fully charged and unexpected message. And it filled our minds with questions. Like Sophie, when she "started to think about being alive". Today, while it seems like the most stressful time in our lives, we find ourselves thinking all the time. 

We find ourselves thinking about things we weren't ready to think about. Introspecting. We ponder choices. We overthink more every day and we panic and doubt every step. Finally, we ask ourselves if we are, indeed: happy.

Some people had to move so quickly to somewhere so different that didn't have time to doubt. They find themselves now in the worst situations. I cannot begin to imagine what millions of people have been living. Some people don't have the luxury to hesitate. They don't know what the future holds for them. But that's the thing, none of us do.

Back to this new person, when talking, I started talking about how I've been letting myself overwork for years. I'd been missing experiences in life way before the pandemic started. She described the challenges that she went through with the pandemic and how different her living conditions are today. Then, there was a moment of silence and I felt us both reflecting about how big all seems. Scary, most of the time. The moment got me inspired; it was one of those days when one feels positive, capable of rescuing oneself from falling into dark thoughts.

In my most brave moments I like to think that, like Sophie, we have been given a new learning opportunity: It's a common human thing not valuing something until it is gone. I can't count the days I missed seeing my goddaughter smiling because that day I had an important something at my workplace. How many times I didn't want to go somewhere because I'd gained weight. All the resentment I felt instead of feeling love. The paralyzing fear that kept me from a day that would have been the best day of my life hadn't I frozen. Those days are gone now. I can't get them back. We all have thousands of days we want back, moments we wish to relive or decisions we dream to have made differently. Before these times we didn't think enough about how many days we let go. Before these times we didn't even appreciate the importance of a hug. I mean, we weren't aware of how necessary it is to be close to someone at that.

All these fears and procrastinations come from a very real and reasonable place. We try to predict what will happen and prepare for the future like we have any control over it. We have to stick to society rules and take care of our image. We have to clean, we have to work, we can do all other things tomorrow. All that might be true, real and important.

But after waking up one day in the middle of this that's happening: wanting to live like I didn't before, wanting experiences, craving to meet people, to see my goddaughter whenever I want, asking myself if I like what I do, if I take care for others and for my people, if I am building something I love... I wake up with all those questions and wonder: am I learning something from this? Or is this just the pandemic context that keeps me waking up to these thoughts? Do I, at the end of the day, fall back into all habits? Am I standing up to those fears having learned they block me? Or do I waste another day like I did so often?

Like Sophie learning so much after that first message, I like to think that this whirlwind of things the pandemic brought pushed me to become a better version of myself. A happier one. I will make the mistake of doubting or freezing again, I am human after all, but finding the courage to face these realities and questioning what we are doing, it's what keeps us aiming to be happy.

I believe, now more than ever, with our fear of the future so raw, we mustn't stop aiming to be happy. We shouldn't fear those thoughts that came with all this. Ask yourself what you are doing. Do you enjoy the company of others? Do you care for them? Do you care for you? How do you feel most days? Ultimately, we need to live everyday remembering that this day is as important as the next one. So it matters what you decide for yourself and what's important to you.

So ask yourself: are you happy today? If the answer isn't an immediate yes, don't worry. We all have those days. My advice? Now that you thought about it; go and try and do a little something that makes you happy, and we can try again tomorrow. But, please, keep aiming everyday to be happy.