Let me tell you something, fear is real. I know you've probably heard some experts say, "Oh, fear isn't real." Well, that’s nonsense. Fear is very real, and it’s something we all face. In fact, there’s probably something in your life you’re afraid of right now. It could be in your relationships, your job, or some other part of your life. And that fear? It’s robbing you of the experiences you want and deserve.

Maybe you’re afraid of flying, I have worked with many people whos fears have restricted them in some way, which limited their ability to travel, visit friends, or even explore the world. Or perhaps it’s public speaking that terrifies you, stopping you from sharing your thoughts and ideas. Maybe you're even afraid to ask for that raise you know you deserve, and it’s affecting your finances. Or you have this dream of starting a business, but fear has you frozen in place, stopping you from pitching your ideas to potential clients.

The point is, fear impacts all of us. But here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to. I’ve been there, stuck in fear, but I’ve learned how to overcome it. Today, I want to share with you something I have used with my clients, a powerful tool that has helped me break through the fears that used to hold my clients back. And trust me, it has also worked for me and this can work for you too.

What is Fear, Really?

Before I share this tool, let’s talk about what fear actually is. Fear is a physical state that happens in your body. This may surprise you, but fear and excitement are almost identical physically. That’s right—the very same physical sensations. Your heart races, your palms sweat, your chest tightens, and there’s that pit in your stomach. Whether you’re afraid or excited, your body is preparing for action.

The difference is all in what your brain is telling you. When you're excited, your brain says, "This is going to be amazing!" But when you're afraid, your brain is shouting, "Danger! Get out!" The body feels the same either way, but it’s the story your brain is telling that makes the difference. And here’s where you can start to take back control.

Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Always Cut It

Now, I know you’ve probably heard things like, “Feel the fear and do it anyway” or “Just think positive.” If you’ve ever been caught in the grip of fear, you know that’s easier said than done. Trying to think positive thoughts or stay calm when you're already terrified is like trying to stop a speeding train with your bare hands. It doesn’t work.

In fact, research has shown that trying to suppress or ignore fear often makes it worse. And forcing yourself into positive thinking can backfire, making your fears feel even bigger. So, what can you do?

The Power of Reframing with Anchor Thoughts

This is where the magic of reframing comes in, and here’s one of my favorite techniques: the anchor thought. Think of an anchor thought as a lifeline when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed. It’s a positive, specific thought tied to the context of your fear, giving your mind something to focus on when fear starts to take over.

For example, let’s say you’re afraid of flying. Instead of letting your mind spiral into “what ifs,” choose an anchor thought. If you’re flying to visit family, picture something joyful, like walking along the beach with your loved ones or sitting down for a big meal together. That anchor thought helps pull your mind back to a positive place, away from fear.

If you're about to have a tough conversation with your boss, your anchor thought might be imagining how proud and accomplished you’ll feel afterward. Picture yourself walking out of that meeting, feeling strong and in control. By focusing on that positive outcome, you’re keeping fear from taking over your mind.

Using Your Anchor Thought in the Moment

So, you’ve got your anchor thought, but how do you use it in those moments when fear hits? Let’s go back to the example of flying. You’re on the plane, and suddenly there’s turbulence. Your heart starts racing, and the anxiety creeps in. Instead of trying to calm down or think positive thoughts, call up that anchor thought. Visualise yourself on the beach with your family or sharing that joyful moment.

Here’s the beauty of it: because your anchor thought is tied to something meaningful and positive, your brain accepts it more easily. You’re shifting your focus from fear to excitement or joy. Now, does that mean you’ll suddenly stop feeling the physical sensations of fear? Maybe not right away. But what you’re doing is changing the story in your mind. Instead of “I’m terrified, I’m in danger,” your brain starts to say, “I’m excited for what’s next!”

Introducing the Power of Affirmations and Meditation

And here’s something I don’t want you to miss: anchor thoughts are just the beginning. You can take this even further with affirmations and meditation. Now, I know what you might be thinking, "Do affirmations really work?" Trust me—they do.

Affirmations are simple, positive statements that you can repeat to yourself to shift your mindset. They work hand-in-hand with anchor thoughts by reinforcing the positive narrative in your mind. For example, in moments of fear, repeating affirmations like, “I am in control,” or “I am safe, and I can handle this,” can be incredibly powerful.

And meditation? That’s the practice that trains your mind to stay calm and grounded, even when fear creeps in. Through meditation, you can develop the mental resilience to face your fears head-on, and when combined with affirmations, it’s a game-changer.

When you take time to quiet your mind, connect with your breath, and center yourself through meditation, you’re rewiring your brain to respond to fear differently. You’re teaching yourself to pause, to ground, and to refocus. It's like having an internal reset button that keeps you calm no matter the situation.

Fear is Real, But It Doesn’t Have to Control You

At the end of the day, fear is real. But it doesn’t have to control you. The next time fear creeps in, don’t try to force yourself to calm down or pretend it isn’t there. Instead, turn to your anchor thought, use your affirmations, and center yourself with meditation. You’ll be amazed at how much power you truly have over your mind—and how quickly fear starts to lose its grip when you do.

Let me know if this helps by sharing a comment and keep thriving.

Gary

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