When my hair started greying prematurely at the age of 15, my father told me that it's because I was wise beyond my years. And while that may have been true back then, I did not leave a stone unturned to disguise the tell-tale signs of my wisdom. After continuously dying & colouring my hair for almost 35 long years, I had to ultimately make a choice – white hair or no hair. So contrary to popular belief, the decision of sporting a silver head neither had anything to do with aging gracefully, nor did it have anything to do with making a fashion statement – it was just a desperate attempt to salvage my hair or whatever remained of it.

What I started experiencing shortly after I grew out of my coloured hair were the assumptions that people started making about my age which manifested in their extremely evident change of mannerisms towards me. I am mostly referring to strangers and the acquaintances that I made after my hair was completely greyed out. While I enjoy people going out of their way to help me cross the road, allowing me to cut queues, offering to carry my bags, giving me lifts, even checking whether I need a wheelchair at the airport which is taking things a tad too far. But on the flip side, what I do not appreciate a bit is being addressed as “aunty” by people who I know are probably just a couple of years younger than me, and I suspect, at times even older. What I also did not appreciate was the so-called “friendly” advice from certain friends & colleagues who asked me to get back to colouring my hair in keeping up with the popular trend so I could continue to “fit in”.

Society has laid out strict norms about how you are supposed to carry yourself, behave, dress and in general conform to all the rules that you have to follow after you reach a certain age. If you do not fit into these norms, especially if you are young at heart and physically fitter than people half your age, but you have white hair, and on top of that you are a woman, you are frowned upon. The salt and pepper look that is so well-regarded on men is unfortunately not so admired on women. Ageism against women is thus much more pronounced than against men, often giving rise to prejudice, discrimination and social exclusion based on age-related stereotypes, limiting their social interactions and opportunities. Negative attitudes towards older women are even expressed openly.

Unfortunately, amongst all other forms of diversity & inclusion, discrimination against older people usually gets a backseat. Organizations have strategies in place to create an inclusive environment for bringing in gender diversity, creating employment opportunities for differently abled people, and creating a work culture that is conducive for the millennials and Gen Zs. However, very little is done for the inclusivity of people above a certain age. This not only broadens the gender gap, but also puts the onus of taking ownership to close it on the older generation. A workforce with a mix of age groups fosters diverse perspectives. Each generation brings their own unique flavour of experiences and skill sets to the table leading to a rich melting pot of innovative strategies that can create a robust organizational culture.

After all, age is just a number and not something to judge somebody with. It is the merits, contributions and competence that counts. It is not the number of years remaining till retirement but the quality that they can put in those years that counts.

You are not your age, nor the size of clothes you wear. You are not a weight, or the colour of your hair. You are not your name, or the dimples in your cheeks. You are all the books you read, and all the words you speak. You are your croaky morning voice, and the smiles you try to hide. You’re the sweetness in your laughter, and every tear you’ve cried. You’re the songs you sing so loudly, when you know you’re all alone, You’re the places that you’ve been to, and the one that you call home. You’re the things that you believe in, and the people that you love. You’re the photos in your bedroom, and the future you dream of. You’re made of so much beauty, but it seems that you forgot. When you decided that you were defined by all the things you’re not.

– Erin Hanson