Something I’ve not addressed publicly is living and, most importantly, working with AD(H)D.

I put the “H” in brackets, because I have never suffered from hyperactivity....ask my couch! ADHD is the official, medical term for the condition — regardless of whether a patient demonstrates symptoms of hyperactivity or not. Who am I to argue?

Disclaimer: I have never been formally diagnosed.

Like many adults who self-diagnose, I found out through the ADHD diagnosis of my children. Back in 2008, I remember so clearly sitting in a child psychologist’s waiting room filling out questionnaires about my son. 

As I sat there playing with the pen cap (on-off-on-off-on-off….) and with my leg bouncing up and down, I was asked to classify on a scale of 1 to 10  “How often is your child restless or fidgety?” Hmmmm……methinks the apple doesn’t fall from the tree!

The list went on and on, and as I filled in more and more checkboxes, memory upon memory came flooding back of times that I had shown symptoms. I might have struggled with applying myself to my homework, lost things, forgotten things, procrastinated, been eternally late, upset people by being distracted etc. etc. etc. I assumed these struggles were normal, and yet there they were in black and white being classified as “disordered”. 

Some poor people on my contact list will have at some point had to sign off my expenses……a month or two or five too late. I am please to report that (thank the God of Concur) I have got a lot better at this. It’s why I still have a job! But seriously - I assumed everybody puts off and delays a task that requires a lot of thought. 

I thought everybody struggles with the final nitty-gritty of a project, once we move on from the big-picture stuff. 

Surely everybody must listen to the same song back-to-back for 5 hours to remain focused on a task. 

Please - at least agree with me that everybody talks too much in social situations and finishes other peoples’ sentences. Come on!!!! Give me a break here!!

The reason I’m sharing my story today, is to help others understand the most common symptoms of ADHD and to share some of the "masking" strategies that I have learned over the years. Perhaps it will help you, a loved one, or a colleague.

• We can struggle to maintain concentration - I cannot tell you how hard it is to carve out 1 hour of deep work, when chat windows, WhatsApp, mail notifications etc. are popping up all over the place. This is only what’s going on in front of us on our monitors. Add an open-plan office and colleagues speaking loudly on their own calls……boom! Hint: The person with noise-cancelling headphones, working happily on a document, might just be one of us.

TIP: Carve out time in your calendar for deep or important work. Block a timeslot, use your calendar tool to deny all invites and disable all notifications. If you have a job where you do need to be reachable, you can leverage automated responses to let people know how to reach you in an urgent situation, but make it clear, you are not available. If you are in an office, book a meeting room to isolate yourself. 

I know some people who apply the opposite logic and block notifications for most of the day, except for dedicated windows when they answer mails and chats. Being in sales,I have never been able to apply this strategy, but it could work for you. 

• We can struggle with organisation and prioritisation - this is getting harder and harder with 4-6 hours of conference calls a day, each with 2-3 actions. I once read that the brain takes 8 minutes to switch from one task to another and restore deep concentration. I am no neurological expert, but my personal experience would tell me that this number is higher for someone with ADHD, because there is a very interesting squirrel outside trying to balance on a washing line! If I have 30 minutes between calls, I simply cannot bring myself to concentrate on a complex task during that time.

TIP: If you’re not already familiar with Stephan Covey’s time management matrix or David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”, these are must reads for anyone with ADHD. Learning how to prioritise things effectively and then scheduling that time in your calendar, or delegate or delete.......simply life saving!!!

• We can procrastinate. I find myself pushing actions out until the end of the day, at which point I will be working until 8 to 9pm at night. This is the best time of day for me to do concentrated work, because of the lack of distractions. I honestly think this is why I work for American companies. My peak time fits the US working day - just please don’t give me any more actions or distractions!The biggest hurdle is getting started. So just do it……simple right? No. I would rather clean 10 pairs of shoes than start writing a complex document.

TIP: My personal top tip - headphones on, one easy-going background song, put it on repeat and suddenly my brain enters a level of hyper-concentration from which great things flow. Other people find they just need to create the right environment - whether it’s a clean desk, the right light, a happy place. Find what works for you. 

Extra tip for Parents: If your child loves listening to music when they do their homework and they seem to do OK, let them. If your older child never starts their homework until 8pm at night, let them. Whatever it takes to get them through the academic system successfully!

• We can be poor active listeners. To focus on what someone is saying until the end of their sentence and NOT think about what you want to respond? Natural for you, monumentally hard for me. If you give me an environment with a lot of background noise and activity, I am a freaking gold medallist in people watching and observation, but friends and significant others can feel disrespected or unseen.

TIP: It seems too obvious. We put the naughty student at the front of the room where the teacher can see them! In reality, it is the best thing for the student, because you are reducing the amount of distractions and the child can only focus on the teacher and the whiteboard. It’s the same for adults - seek the least interesting desk away from the melee. Reduce clutter and posters. Going out for dinner? Seek the seat in the restaurant facing the wall. You have the best chance possible of staying focused on the person you are sitting with…..and on maintaining healthy relationships.

• Stonewalling. I learned this from Simon Sinek. I used to find myself in arguments with my significant other, because I was unresponsive or too passive in my reactions. I was most definitely listening and empathising internally, but I clearly wasn’t responding outwards as expected with “Oh that’s great!” or “That sounds tough.” People can feel unseen because of this.

TIP: I can try to mask my natural behaviour, but these days I try to warn people proactively about this by saying “If you don’t get a reaction out of me, prompt me.....please! I would never ignore you deliberately.”

So - bearing in mind this is a CELEBRATION of neurodiversity, let’s finish on a high note regarding the wonders and superpowers of ADHD. In this era of high-paced change, an ADHD brain can rotate on a penny and adapt within the shortest timeframes. We are usually fun, full of energy and spontaneous. ADHD brains are known for their creativity and when we are fascinated by something, we can hyper-focus and deliver like no other.

Perhaps by knowing some of our biggest challenges, others will start to understand and tolerate some of our quirks, as frustrating and confounding as they may sometimes be!

Honestly, I wouldn’t swap my brain for any other……even if my leg is bouncing whilst I write :-)