Moving from Celebration to Action
The day after the nation recognizes and celebrates the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., provides an opportunity - and potentially the motivation - to put one of Dr. Kingâs most critical skills into practice,  understanding others. Those who have participated in my training sessions or worked with me on leadership development, know the importance I place on the value of understanding. It is a critical component in the five core skills of Benevolent Compassionate Leaders:
Cultivating these skills allows individuals to identify and overcome conscious and unconsciously learned styles, traits, and philosophies and then develop qualities of leadership that are intentional and focused on positive outcomes.
The value and skill of understanding others requires a recognition and acknowledgement of the importance of the âother.â It requires moving past the fear of difference and learning what is needed to motivate, inspire, connect, and engage with others. Amidst violence to himself and others, Dr. King demonstrated the value of understanding and recognized the danger of misunderstanding. He referenced this value in his Letter from a Birmingham Jail, written in response to the eight moderate white clergymen who criticized his march for equality and other demonstrations.
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Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half-truths to the unfettered realm of creative analysis and objective appraisal, so must we see the need for nonviolent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood.
Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.
I hope this letter finds you strong in the faith. I also hope that circumstances will soon make it possible for me to meet each of you, not as an integrationist or a civil-rights leader but as a fellow clergyman and a Christian brother. Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away, and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty. â Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from the Birmingham Jail
Dr. King recognized that understanding others does not require one to praise, like, or agree with the principles, policies, practices, or values of the other, but it does require a recognition and acknowledgement of the importance of the other; that is, as a valuable person - a human being - not as a caricature or as one-dimensional. It requires moving past the fear of difference and learning what is necessary to motivate, inspire, connect with, and engage with others. To be clear, understanding is not the same as agreement. Understanding is the ability to empathize with, recognize, and hear the needs and wants of another; agreement means to accept, concur, or consent with an idea, value, or action. In addition, understanding the other does not require one to be without fault or meet an unrealistic standard of goodness or perfection; human beings are imperfect. Recognizing this fact can reduce barriers to understanding.
To understand others, we must learn to communicate effectively, which includes listening to the otherâs story. This allows for a broader understanding of the person, not based on preconceived notions or stereotypes, but on a more holistic recognition of the person, including their successes and failures, challenges and victories, and the struggles comprising identity and character, all of which are part of being human.
While we recognize and celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., let us also act to understand others and make Dr. King's dreams of equality and justice a reality.