"I can't do it anymore."  A manager remarked in the middle of a coaching session. 

It turns out he could keep going; there were just things he could do better.

Now, before you judge or empathize with him, let's start with one thing we all can improve upon: removing extreme globalizing words from our vocabulary. 

These words amplify a statement's intensity and often aren't true. They add unnecessary pressure and stress when they don't need to be there. Examples are 'can't,' 'always,' 'never,' 'every time,'  or 'never.'  

The issue with extreme globalizing words is that they create a sense of hopelessness, increasing stress levels and making it easier to give up. From a leadership perspective, they are awful words to use because they aren't precise or true, which is the opposite of what a team needs. On a broader scale, extreme globalizing words are hurtful to anyone who uses them because of a critical leadership principle: 

The words you say to yourself are the most important words you say. 

When you use extreme globalizing words, you limit what you and your team are capable of.  You create a softer and weaker version of yourself simply by telling your brain something untrue. Which is painful because your brain will start to believe a false narrative.

What is Stress at Work?

Stress is a natural emotional, physical, or mental response to any demand that disrupts equilibrium. It is complex because it involves both a physiological and psychological reaction that can manifest itself as feelings of anxiety, worry, irritability, or overwhelm. Stress can cause difficulty sleeping, making decisions, and remembering essential things.

It's important to note that stress can be subjective. What might be stressful for one person may not be for another. Research shows managers experience stress at various levels: 

• 75% of managers report experiencing moderate to high levels of stress
• 40% of managers feel overwhelmed by their workload

However, most managers think stress is inherently negative, but it turns out that isn't true.  Stress can inspire, provide focus, and make you stronger. When you start to think of stress through this lens, you will recognize a fundamental leadership principle: 

Only leaders who are tested become great.

It is impossible to become great at anything without stress or tests in your life. That's why football teams have difficult practices and hard games, and that's why development teams take on challenging projects.  

How to Lead When You Are Stressed

There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to leading when you are stressed. However, when an individual or team's response to a demand or challenge increases is precisely when leadership is required.  When things aren't going your way, your authentic leadership is revealed.  Will you shrink or blossom?  Will you blame others or take responsibility?  Will you let your emotions win, or will you win?

Here are four techniques to help: 

1. Ensure it's your problem to solve

Many of the best leaders take on relentless responsibility in their lives.  They take complete ownership because they know they are the CEO of their own life.  While this is typically a great trait, it does have a downside.  You start to think every problem is yours to solve.  

So, the first and most important way to lead when you are stressed is to remember this principle:

Before you solve a problem, make sure it's your problem.

Taking on problems that aren't yours to solve is a surefire way to add unwarranted stress to your life.  Since many leaders do it without knowing, ask yourself a powerful question: What problem am I currently trying to solve that isn't mine to solve?

2. Prioritize What's Most Important

When stress is high, it's essential to prioritize tasks based on what's urgent and important.  The Eisenhower Matrix is a simple tool to evaluate and ensure you are working on the right things that will make a positive impact.  You can see it below:

Many leaders we work with use the 64-Day Excellence Planner to help with prioritization. If you struggle with this, you can check out Beyond Time Management: Master the Art of Time Enhancement Course . 

3. Empower Responsibility and Decision Making

Many leaders add unwarranted stress to themselves because of their unwillingness to empower responsibility and decision-making to others.  While it's true that you are ultimately responsible for the results the team delivers, you aren't the only one contributing to those results. 

The best leaders empower others to make decisions and own the outcome.

Empower your team to take ownership of tasks and outcomes to distribute the workload. This will reduce your stress and equip your team to contribute and collaborate. 

4. Emphasize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually is crucial to leading under stress.  Would a professional athlete going to play in their biggest game refuse to prioritize their diet and sleep the days or weeks before?  Of course not, so why would you be any different?  

Engaging in physical exercise, getting adequate sleep, and dedicating time to your spiritual life can help you improve your ability to navigate stressful situations.  

Every leader doesn't required to have the same routine, however, physical exercise should be a common theme.  Do one thing every day that gets your heart rate up and makes you feel like a more confident version of yourself. 

Closing

You might reach a point where you "can't do it anymore" or realize that just because you haven't doesn't mean you can't. Either way, the choice will be yours.

If you want to be a more effective leader when you are stressed, do your best to eliminate those extreme globalizing words, solve problems that are yours, prioritize, empower, and emphasize self-care. 

Beyond Time Management: Master the Art of Time Enhancement Want to be more productive and get more out of your day? Check out the new Beyond Time Management online course here. 

Leadership Communication Cadence Template: Are you responsible for having consistence cadence with a team.  You can download the Communication Cadence Tool Here.

Accelerate Leadership System Looking to turn your managers into highly effective leaders? Instead of having high expectations, now is the time to also provide a high level of support. Leverage the Accelerate Leadership System for managers in your organization. Learn more here.

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About the Author: John Eades is the CEO of LearnLoft and the creator of the Accelerate Leadership System . He was named one of LinkedIn’s Top Voices. John is also the author of Building the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Others to Success . You can follow him on Instagram @johngeades .