The United States has gone crazy. Or has it? Let's talk about racism specifically. It's always been there in our country but with social media and technology it's getting captured on video and being spread to the mainstream as it happens. This has ignited fury from good people. This has ignited more racism as well. As a white privileged person - and as a human being - it is my responsibility to do something, say something. This time of disgust and pain made me dig up two chapters of my books - clearly I was already thinking about this since I wrote about it. If anybody reading this personally knows me, then you know that I can't not speak up and speak out even when there are consequences that affect me. My values are Realistic, Honest, Reliable. I know no other way. I will be respectful if you are respectful. I will attempt to educate you and if you do not take the time to try to understand - even if you do not believe - then I will call your asshole behavior out.

In chapter 8 of "Suck It Up Buttercup, Be a Leader People Will Follow", I discuss the idea that Inclusivity Is Good for Business. Here is an excerpt below.

Becoming inclusive:

• You do not need to agree with others’ opinions or beliefs. 
• You do not need to comply with others’ opinions or beliefs. 
• You simply need to respectfully acknowledge the person who has those opinions or beliefs, particularly if they are being respectful towards you. If they are not being respectful, be self-aware of your response and behavior.
• You must focus on ability, performance, and behavior; nothing else.

If you are a racist, xenophobe, misogynist, supremacist, discriminator, harasser or intentional divider you are an a$$hole and there is simply no self-help book for you. I am not a doctor of any kind however my opinion is that your best bet is to seek psychological therapy to resolve your hatred and anger towards others simply because they are different than you. While embarrassingly common, bigotry is un-American and unacceptable, regardless of who the commander in chief is. Millennials and Generation Z will not tolerate working for or with a bigot and for that, I graciously applaud them. Since businesses will eventually have no choice but to work with these generations, businesses have to make a decision. Inclusivity is a simple concept and a business decision you should choose. What will you do?

Chapter 6 of my book "The Asshole Whisperer, How to Deal With Crappy Leaders and Jerks at Work" can be adapted for Crappy People in General. The chapter is listed below.

In Summary, Don’t Be an Asshole: Are you sick of people sugar coating how to deal with crappy leadership and jerks at work? Sometimes, people are jerks and you have to deal with them. Sometimes, you are the jerk! Jerks and assholes are everywhere. There is simply no escaping them. How you deal with them is up to you but avoiding them is simply not an option. Being an asshole to them isn’t the best choice either.

Let’s summarize my advice (if you choose to take it to tame these beasts). First, create and stick to your corporate values or value statements; make it mandatory to hire with values in mind and to fire employees for violating them. It makes it easy to say, hey you're an asshole and I have proof.  (YOU CAN DO THIS FOR YOUR FAMILY/ PERSONAL LIFE TOO)

Second, understand that people are different. Personality traits can’t be changed so why don’t you put people in the jobs that best fit their personality trait. C’mon, this doesn’t take a genius to figure out, but it does take a little bit of time before you start the interviewing process. Get the job ad right!

Third, you have to provide feedback. “You’re being an asshole” is fun to say but probably not the best advice in today’s world (seriously, I wouldn’t even say it at work). Plus, it isn't clear. Provide crystal clear feedback often and in writing – and then watch the magic happen as people suddenly understand your marching orders. Determine if the issues are performance-related, behavior-related, or a feedback related up. Also, ask yourself “Am I part of the problem? How can I be part of the solution?”

Finally, if you don’t have the guts to hold yourself and other people accountable, develop an asshole budget. If you are a manager, leader or owner, your lawyer and recruiter are going to need a budget for the unavoidable consequences of asshole behavior. If you are an employee, you’re going to need to save up income for when you are in between jobs every few months due to your asshole behavior. It is cheaper though to simply not be an asshole. Instead, be The Asshole Whisperer.

Wendy Sellers, The HR Lady ®, does not tolerate racism in her life and will not work with any clients or customers who are a racist, xenophobe, misogynist, supremacist, discriminator, harasser or intentional divider. There is no sugar coating it. If you are an asshole, you cannot be in my life.

I see you. I hear you.