I’ve been combing my mind of leader -worker relationships that I have had in my working life. I have found many relationships that I find interesting, both good and bad. My quest, while I ponder, is to identify the good, carefully tracing notable positive highlights to help create positive experiences in the future while adjusting to difficult ones.

What is encouraging, when I kept my head up after a difficult situation with an employer, I found the next opportunity, and the results were pleasantly different. Why does this happen? I recently watched a video where Jeff Weiner discussed how to lead with compassion, understanding proper leader-employee alignment and I realized that this was the recipe that defines which working opportunities are refreshing and which ones are painful. An empathetic look from both employer and employee is necessary to align talent as well as inspire quality work.

I thoroughly enjoy my current job. Is it any easier, or more difficult? No. It mirrors other aspects of prior jobs I’ve held, yet carries a freshness which makes me look forward to my next project. The difference is the person at the helm. He is a wonderful leader. I noticed that he was well organized from the first day I came in. He knew what I needed in as far as work tools and had a calendar of things to do. He set the expectations by providing a list of things he expected accomplished by a specific time.

Most employers get the on-boarding process wrong assuming that setting expectations is the wrong thing or have no idea what they expect of the new hire nor do they communicate this concisely. Also, it is good to recognize how alien a new position feels for your new worker. Every new work engagement is different and causes many a worker to freeze in unchartered waters wonderment. They yearningly seek out direction in thawing out the new engagement jitters. The situation is akin to a new-born taking in the new environment, staring around the room with face grimacing when familiar faces are outside view-range.

I was introduced to co-workers and provided “peer-mentors” who I could reach out to for information to facilitate ease of arriving at goals set.

By the second week, I was already so exhilarated about coming up with a ground-breaking new dashboard to help the team understand the state of inventory of specific products at a glance. By the first month with this new tool in full adoption, my creative juices were flowing and I couldn’t wait to contribute more. Suffice to say, about three other creative ideas spawned within a span of an additional three months.

Good leaders inspire confidence and seek to bring out the best in their employees.

This is a process that works well if the employee is “birthed” well and when they present their first work, it is verbally acknowledged and gingerly tended where flawed. It is human nature to desire some outward expression of acceptance and once this is established, the will is activated by the new-found comfort level.

It is difficult to list of all things both the leader or employee need to follow to create the near perfect symbiotic relationship, but some basic examples will shape the thrust of how a good relationship is built.

One thing that stands out to me is awareness my perspective and that of others. The world does not revolve around any one person. I have learned that understanding what major projects your boss is involved in is important, if they care to share them. This helps the new hire understand the over-arching goals and also provide perspective on how to manage his or her portfolio during the critical upper management quiet times. Also worth mention, is informing employees of large plans fosters a spirit of inclusion. The leader also needs to understand that checking on the employee in a recurring schedule will help provide the insight you need to lead. Surprising as it may sound, not many leaders think of setting up One on Ones. During times of great focus by my boss, I learned to swim by seeking out people who can answer questions and only ping the boss using instant messages instead of popping constantly into their office. The underlying principle, as most people who are married will tell you, you have to communicate and do so at the right time.

A “show us what you can do” attitude or picking out mistakes, creates defensive workers and stifles creativity; fear is the recipe for resentment and brain-drain. On the other hand, a worker who is hemophiliac, who cannot be touched by constructive criticism, is lacking in emotional intelligence and will not work well with any team striving for excellence.

It is important to humanize relationships because creativity and good working relationships thrive in comfortable environments. I’m sure many co-workers who get to know each other and have small talk about their life away from work, get to understand what makes a person tick and the interest in what is dear to a co-worker shows concern. Jeff’s compassionate leadership is honed in this unconventional garden of exploration. A previous boss was adept at this by simply remembering small anecdotal elements of workers lives. He would remember names of family members and we in turn knew his family before we saw them. He simply liked people. There is no way for fake your way into this one. An open door policy was an open door policy and a sense of humor made his presence all the more appealing.

In a working world where the flood light is on the employee to prove his or herself worthy of the honor of working for a new company, it is easy to lose sight of the shared goal of creating a harmonious work culture. This can go awfully wrong if the hired feels like the hunted and the hiring thinks themselves exempt from the fluid process of helping others fit in. It is a dual responsibility and if embraced by both, creates a wonderful environment where all are at their best.