I took a road trip from Denver to Sedona this week. One of my simple life pleasures is to be on the open road, windows down, tunes blaring. New scenery generally invites a fresh perspective on things and makes it easier to see possibilities.

You’re familiar with the “reticular activator” concept. It’s that part of your brain that gets stimulated and brings things into your consciousness.  When you buy a silver Toyota, you start seeing a ridiculous amounts of other silver Toyotas on the road. We notice whatever is familiar and repeats on our radar. Well, somehow on my road trip, the absurdity of warning signs got on my radar and I started seeing them everywhere. The hotel gym has bold disclaimers about exercising at your own risk, cautioning to stop immediately if you have shortness of breath. Getting on the elevator, the sign warns me that the maximum capacity is 2500 pounds. Road signs warn us to climb to safety in case of a flash and not to cross the yellow line. My snack bar warns that it was made in a facility that may contain nuts. The sign at the hot tub reminds me that the hotel is not responsible for me drowning or having seizures. We’ve become immune to all these but if one were to pay attention, the sirens and whistles could go off every ten minutes. Danger! Danger! Everywhere.

If we responded to most of them, we’d likely act and feel nuts. If I stopped exercising as soon as I had shortness of breath, I’d never finish a work out. Can you imagine the eye rolls from others if you took a quick inventory of the body weights of your fellow elevator passengers? Or hopped out of the hot tub screaming that you’re afraid of seizures?

While it may be innocuous, it got me thinking about the effect that these compounded messages have in our lives. If we added up all the warnings that we heard in childhood plus all the subtle daily reminders, is it any wonder that we feel that we should play it safe? If we are supposed to be suspect about elevators and snack bars, what about life’s big stuff like taking risks in our relationships and careers?

It’s too bad we’re in such a litigious society that encourages everyone to cover their ass. What if instead, we saw positive messages posted with the same frequency. You are likely to meet a wonderful person on this elevator. Today’s workout on this treadmill is going to improve your life and body in ways you can’t even imagine. Enjoy every bite of this snack bar – we made it with love. Ahh … I think I’d like that. But, back to reality.

There are so many platitudes about fear. From “feel the fear and do it anyways” to “do one thing that scares you today” to “everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” I love them all.  I believe in them. Yet, it’s worth digging a bit deeper. Instead of willing ourselves to move past the fear, we can also choose to deconstruct the fear and take the power out of it.

Think of something right now that you fear. Where did that come from?

To start dismantling the belief, think back to the first time you remember having the fear. Was it from a real experience or did someone give you information that you adopted as true? Let’s take a funny one from my childhood. “You can’t swim for an hour after eating.” Anyone else hear that one? My Dad said it all the time and as a kid, I’m not sure what I thought would happen but I linked it to danger. Maybe I’d be more likely to drown or be eaten by a hungry shark that sensed there was food in my belly. Of course, while well intentioned there was no real science to back that one. What fears did you take on early in life that weren’t based on reality? Are you willing to re-evaluate them now as an adult?

What about more significant fears? You’ve been divorced once and you fear getting into relationships and potentially having a second divorce. You’re miserable in your new job and fear that it will look flakey if you make another change too quickly. You’ve had a dream for years to open a business but are fearful it could fail. The vast majority of these fears are really the fear of the feeling it would create. We are trying to avoid feeling like a failure, feeling disappointed, feeling heartbroken. Yet, feelings are temporary and always pass. So, if we can tolerate the passing feelings, it opens up a richer range of experiences for us. The feelings may cause temporary misery but aren’t going to kill us. What is the feeling you're trying to avoid?

Next time you’re facing a fear, rather than quickly pushing past it, take time to dissect it. You may find that it doesn’t have much of a hold on you.