As we approach International Coaching Week (May 8–May 14), I would like to take this opportunity to celebrate the power and impact of coaching in general and that of the co-active coaching model in particular. Co-active coaching, which I’m trained in, emphasizes a collaborative and creative approach that empowers clients to find their own solutions and take action towards their goals. It has been transformative for many people, including myself, and I am grateful for its impact on my life.

My personal experience demonstrates just how powerful coaching can be. When my elder son was graduating high school, I went through an existential crisis. I became painfully aware that our children are not really ours to keep forever, thus processing the blurry purpose of my life. Coaching allowed me to gain clarity on my values and goals and develop a plan to live a more purposeful life. It helped me focus on what truly matters and take action towards creating the life I want for myself and my family.

In October 2019, I walked into "The Magic Room" G03 in Knowledge Village for The Co-active Training Institute’s (CTI) Fundamentals course. (CTIers will understand why it's "magic"—IYKYK). At the time, I was highly skeptical about whether the money I paid for the course was worth it. Little did I know that day that my life was about to change forever. Fast forward to today: I am a certified co-active coach, and I live and breathe the “co-active” way! 

The co-active way is about the co-existence of being and doing. Many of us are prone to swerve into a perpetual state of “doing” and ignore "being." We are busy running around, setting goals, solving problems, and achieving tasks but completely forget about the importance of being still, contemplating, and simply allowing ourselves to “be”! I was one of these compulsive "doers,” and it was exhausting! The essence of the co-active model lies in the balance between the two: both are equally important and necessary. 

Throughout my training at CTI, I witnessed a shift in paradigm when looking at situations through the lens of the model’s cornerstones. These cornerstones became not just a coaching practice but a new life philosophy, and I began to apply them to every area of my life. 

The first cornerstone resonates with me the most: "People are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.". It is the notion that "nothing is broken or needs fixing," and everyone has a natural ability to resolve the challenges they face. This concept prompted me to be less judgmental and critical of others, especially my children. I always thought the right way to parent was to “over-parent,” but with this cornerstone in mind, my perspective on how I want to be as a mother shifted. I learned to trust my children's abilities to solve their own problems and provide support only when needed, rather than always trying to fix things for them. It has also helped me develop a more positive and empathetic mindset towards them. I realized that even my children need to make mistakes to learn and grow, and it is okay that I do not always control their outcomes. As a result, I am less worried about the consequences and more thankful for the learning experience. 

The second cornerstone, “Dance in This Moment,” I struggled with the most and, in some instances, still do to this day. I am what you call a "type A” personality who loves checklists and structures; mindfulness and coping with uncertainty are not among my strengths. The past few years have put this to the test when life threw a series of unexpected events at me. I have had to make several sudden changes to my lifestyle and routine since early 2020. On August 4, 2020, Beirut Port’s blast was dubbed "one of the biggest accidental explosions in history." We had to move our son from university in Beirut to Montreal, and Lebanon’s economic crisis has left our life savings stuck in banks with no end in sight to this date. All this while living amid a pandemic. As you can imagine, with all of this going on, I had no choice but to dance in this moment. I learned to relax and be grateful: grateful for life, health, and the ability to always learn and evolve. I am now more appreciative of the moment in the here and now, be it with clients, people I work with, or people I love. With this cornerstone, I had to learn to let go of control and embrace spontaneity. It was a challenging but rewarding experience that taught me the value of living in the present moment.  

The third cornerstone, “Focus on the Whole Person," emphasizes the importance of considering all aspects of a person's life, including their physical, emotional, and mental well-being, to truly understand and connect with them. It means meeting people in your life where they are rather than where you are and realizing that humans are complex and unique. It is not about solving a problem or reaching an objective but focusing on the person's wholeness. This philosophy has helped me strengthen my relationships, especially in the workplace, where I have become more empathetic and encompassing. We tend to forget that every person is fighting a different battle at home, in relationships, and in life at large. Training myself to focus on the person as a whole and listening to others deeply and actively transformed my relationships. By being more understanding and compassionate towards others, I have also noticed an improvement in my own mental well-being and overall satisfaction with life. It's amazing how much a simple shift in perspective can make such a significant difference in both personal and professional relationships. 

Finally, "Evoke Transformation" is a cornerstone that emphasizes that life is dynamic—not linear, always in motion, and always changing. Transformation is a continuous process that requires consistent effort and dedication to maintain. When the first three cornerstones are in place, transformation is inevitable, and a shift is likely to happen. They serve as a foundation for ongoing growth and development. 

And so, without a doubt, coaching has had a profound impact on my life, influencing all aspects on a personal and professional level. It has helped me become a better human overall. So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth, seek out a coach that resonates with you. Your personal and professional growth is worth investing in, and the power of coaching can help you achieve your goals and transform your life, as it did mine.