We all know the foundational ways of improving our health and extending our quality of life as we get older: eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of sleep and avoid habits like smoking or excessive drinking.

However, there’s new research that points to a silent epidemic that poses a serious threat many Americans’ health and well-being. It’s a threat that we’ve just begun to talk about. It is loneliness.

According to the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, the lack of social connections can increase mortality by the same amount as regularly smoking cigarettes. Isolation and the lack of social networks are associated with a 29% increase in the risk of heart disease and a 50% increase in the risk of dementia. Not surprisingly, adults experiencing loneliness are also twice as likely to report depression.

A recent article in our much loved newsletter, The Ethel, quotes Dr. Murthy as he discussed his own battle with loneliness and isolation after his job ended. There is a stigma associated with being lonely, which impacts peoples’ mental and physical well-being, along with their self-esteem. Sharing his personal story hopefully will help people discuss isolation more openly.

Adults, especially those in their retirement years, need to be as intentional about preventing social isolation as they are about eating green vegetables and getting in their 6,000 steps per day.

One of the learnings from the COVID pandemic is the deep realization of just how important social connections are and how debilitating it can be to live in isolation. For years there has been a call for the recognition that treating mental health is as crucial as treating physical health. In fact, many recent studies show there isn’t a clear distinction between the two when you look at someone’s overall wellbeing.

As people get older, their kids leave home, and they move away from the workforce, their social connections fray as well. No longer car-pooling or attending Little League games and no longer working and commuting, it is common for people to slip into isolation as their previous networks grow more remote or spread thin.

It’s not always easy to make new friends as an adult.

But, here’s some good news. Studies show that combating loneliness is not just about having “strong ties” such as having family, or a spouse, or very close friends. Instead, while those are important, people tend to pay less attention to cultivating and maintaining what are known as “weak ties,” the looser communities that make-up more casual interactions in our day-to-day routines.

These relationships are with the people we see a few times a month at our volunteer gig, or the neighbor we run into at the grocery store. Often underappreciated, these relationships play a meaningful role in creating social connections and alleviating loneliness. 

Understanding how important these ties are, AARP is helping connect our members in a variety of ways to establish social connections. Of course, the key to bringing people together is growing groups based on common interests: Do you walk your dog or go to a dog park? Do you like gardening? How about cooking? Going to the theater? Are you active in your homeowner’s association? Or maybe you routinely walk around the neighborhood.

We provide resources at aarp.org/local where people can find events and volunteer opportunities near them. Of course, we also have virtual events. Any form of interaction over a shared interest – in-person or remote – helps people overcome loneliness and feel more connected.

Our members have even started organizing get-togethers on their own based on their AARP connections. We put out e-newsletters to specific groups and from these communities, Facebook groups have sprung up – including The Ethel Circle, which is an offshoot of our newsletter, The Ethel, written for women 60-plus. It’s been amazing to watch The Ethel Circle grow rapidly and it now has 45,000 members who are getting together in small groups around the country. For women 40-plus we have The Girlfriend Book Club, which has grown to 65,000 members. They’ve enabled people across the country to find one another, share their passions and plan in-person meet-ups. BTW, we also have communities for Veterans and for African American women, all of which are thriving as people establish connections through shared interests.

Ultimately, the reason people get together matters less than the fact that they are reaching out to form connections that make them healthier and happier. Which is what we all want, regardless of age.