April is Stress Awareness Month
This year it’s needed more than ever, with 50% of people’s wellbeing worsening during lockdown (for those who’ve been working from home, that rockets to a whopping 80%). How’s that extra stress affecting your people’s performance?
Awareness events are a great way to open up conversations which otherwise might not happen, but awareness on its own doesn’t change anything. Awareness doesn’t make anyone healthier. Change needs action, and that’s where it can start to get tough. Because we’re mostly pretty rubbish at doing what’s good for us.
New habits can be hard to set, especially when you’re already feeling stretched or overloaded. That’s why so many attempts to manage stress end up yo-yoing. The stress builds up and gets uncomfortable. We know it’s not good for us, so we start to do something differently – whether that’s delegating more, talking things through with someone supportive, or taking time to explore mindfulness.
If it works, we start to feel better. Whatever we were doing differently tails off, and we find ourselves right back to square one. Over the years I’ve supported so many people who’d found themselves stuck in those yo-yoing cycles. Every cycle draining away more energy, and reinforcing the belief that real change was just too hard.
But getting past that 'stuck' can happen a lot more smoothly than you might have imagined….
My take on good wellbeing, is that it’s all about the balance between the total load you’re experiencing – your worries, stresses, frustrations and upsets. And all the different resources that you have for dealing with that load, both within yourself, and resources you have outside of you - like being able to talk things through with someone supportive, or getting some help with a challenge you’re facing. Keeping that load less than the resources, keeps you well.
When you’re feeling stressed or overloaded, the most obvious course of action is to do something about what’s causing it – to do something about the loads. But especially at the moment, so many of those loads are ones we can’t do anything about. You might be missing friends or family who you’ve not been able to see. Or your favourite sport, or a hobby that’s been stopped during restrictions.
When the biggest of those loads are ones you can’t change, it’s easy to get stuck. But remember, that over all balance is between all the loads, and all the resources. So even if you can’t sort out the biggest of the loads, doing something about the smaller ones can still free up some of your resources for dealing with the rest more smoothly.
So take a few moments, and a deep breath or two. Step back, and take a look at what the loads are. What’s bothering, frustrating or upsetting you? Because when there are a lot of them, it’s easy for them to sort of blend into each other, into a formless mess of life not co-operating. We don’t always take time to put a finger on what’s actually bothering us, and it’s a good place to start. So pick one – just one for now. It doesn’t even really matter which one. And take some action.
You might not be able to sort it out completely, but doing something to make it a bit smaller, a bit less scary, feels better. And taking action helps to keep your mind at its most resourceful, so you start to spot other things you can do about other loads. And that 'stuck' starts to ease.
Getting unstuck feels better – it’s what happens next that makes all the difference. Because the only way to stop those yo-yoing cycles is to keep going. Keep taking those few moments to check in on how you’re feeling, looking at the loads and your resources, and keep taking action to maintain that balance. Be proactive. Be curious. Mix things up so it stays fresh and interesting. Keep learning. Be willing to experiment, because stuck only happens when you stand still.
Not all stress is bad. It’s your body’s way of making you pay attention to something which isn’t as you’d like. To something where there’s potential harm. That discomfort’s meant to get you to take action - whether that’s paying your bills on time, studying for that important exam, or talking things through with someone you care about so that differences in opinion don’t escalate to falling out… As long as those stresses stay matched by your resources for dealing with them, they can bring out your very best. The stresses which you learn and grow from. The stresses which give life meaning.
So how do you get more of the stresses which work, and less of those which get in the way? That’s what I wrote ‘The Problem Solvers’ Guide to Keeping Stress Useful’ to support, introducing the stress converter process, and some straightforward skills for getting your system off that uncomfortable high alert. So if you’re ready to break those yo-yoing stress cycles for good, you can get your complimentary copy at http://www.resolve-stress.com/useful-guide
Sue Evans has helped thousands of people to break free from yo-yo stressing, embedding the skills to keep stress useful. She’s delivered £multi-million change programmes for international organisations, experiencing time and time again how we don’t always do what’s good for us, even when what we’re doing isn’t working. To find out more about the skills to update the mind’s autopilot, how they work, and the differences they can make in your organisation, go to fast-pathways.com
#stress #wellbeing #mentalhealth #fastpathways
Helping Agency, Service, & Software businesses Identify, Nurture, and Scale Referral and Partnership Opportunities.
3yBrilliant article Sue, I like the balance approach. I'm off to downlaod the guide now!
Business strategist and founder of Collaboration Global, bringing good people together to create positive impacts on our world. Collaboration is my passion, our route to a better future for all.
3yI had never seen stress in such a way before Sue Evans being aware of the benefits when matched with resources has been like an epiphany to me and yet now I read it again it is so beautifully obvious- why isn’t this stuff taught before we reach puberty and life begins to take hold???? Thank you, loved this article 🙌
International Pricing Speaker | Keynote Speaker | Portfolio Marketing Director #pricing #pricingstrategy #pricingoptimization
3yI think the key takeaway here is getting some external help, such as talking to you! It's really hard to manage the balance between negative stress and stress that helps you get your finger out and achieve things, and sometimes it's hard to manage that balance yourself. Sounds like reading your book would also be a good first step!
Empowering Leaders to Unleash the People Power in their organisations. Building an army of empowering Practitioners for in house solutions and consultancy.
3yWhat a generous gift, Sue Evans and I love the article. I try and break my loads into smaller bits but I've learned form experience that they thing that gives me most stress relief is by tackling it (albeit it bit by bit) and not following the advice of some others which is walk away and do something else, that just makes it worse!
CEO - Cotswold Fayre & Flourish, Author "Forces for Good" & "The Fourth Bottom Line", B Corp Ambassador, Key Note Speaker
3yWhat surprised me about this Sue Evans was that people who have been working at home have been extra-stressed. I wonder how much that was to do with home-schooling for many and now children are back at school, that has reduced. I know from my team (admittedly most either too young or too old) to have school-age kids, many have loved working at home.