Transcript

If networking ever feels gross, you're doing it wrong. In 2014, researchers from the University of Toronto, Harvard and Northeastern teamed up to investigate the impact of building social capital on people's sense of morality. Well, they discovered across their work was that when people built relationships for selfish pursuits. It left them feeling psychologically dirty and even morally stained. There's a reason that I felt gross. When I was approaching people as a transactional consumer instead of as a relational investor, the goal isn't giving to gain. Or even about paying it forward so that positive things circle back around for you one day. Relational investors give out of the overflow of who they are and what they've already been given. They bring generosity beyond reciprocity. They ask you a different question. Instead of what can I get from this person, they ask what can I give to this person? There is nothing more rewarding than giving to other people. My parents, they impressed the value of education on me. But they also demonstrated the value of generosity. They have been avid suburban gardeners for over 40 years. They do such an excellent job that every year they harvest so much produce there's absolutely no way they can possibly consume it all themselves. They have so much that it will go to spoil, it will go to waste. So what do they do? Instead of letting it go to spoil. They spoil their friends. They take all the excess, they put it in bags and baskets, and they generously share it with all of their friends and neighbors. Most years, they even take their extra seeds to help friends start their own gardens for the following year. Our networks. Our relationships. Are also like a garden. If we tend them will they will grow and they will produce fruit. So much, in fact, there's absolutely no way we can possibly consume it all ourselves. Instead of letting relationships go to waste, we can invest in them. Give to them, serve them, connect them with each other. It could be as simple as the gift of your undivided attention. The next time you're meeting with somebody. Or maybe it's a heartfelt thank you note. Letting someone know you've appreciated how they have invested in you. Perhaps it's a timely introduction. You've built a relationship with somebody and you know somebody else who would be mutually beneficial for them to meet, so you make that connection. Generosity could even look like helping a coworker who's behind on a deadline. Taking a little extra time to help them get caught up. It could even be as simple as the offer to review someone's resume for them. The possibilities for generosity are only limited by your imagination. Because people aren't to process. People are the purpose, and business is all about people. It's not about extracting value or leveraging relationships. It's about building meaningful, generous and mutually beneficial relationships. Looking for ways to serve other people. Even if they are the ones who are helping you. You might not get anything back right away. Or even at all. But there's still value in the relationship. Because every person has inherent dignity, value, and worth, regardless of the outcome.