2 Myth 2: Assertiveness is aggressive or confrontational

Another common barrier to assertiveness is the fear of being aggressive or confrontational. You might think that assertiveness means being hostile, angry, or threatening, or that it will lead to conflict or violence. But this is not true. Assertiveness is not about being aggressive or confrontational, it's about being calm and confident. When you are assertive, you are not trying to attack or intimidate, you are trying to communicate and negotiate. You are also polite and courteous, and you use assertive language and body language, such as "I" statements, eye contact, and a firm voice.

3 Myth 3: Assertiveness is natural or innate

Another common barrier to assertiveness is the belief that assertiveness is natural or innate. You might think that assertiveness is something that you either have or don't have, or that it depends on your personality, gender, or culture. But this is not true. Assertiveness is not about being natural or innate, it's about being learned and practiced. When you are assertive, you are not relying on your genes or your environment, you are relying on your skills and your choices. You are also flexible and adaptable, and you adjust your assertiveness to different situations and people.

4 Myth 4: Assertiveness is easy or simple

Another common barrier to assertiveness is the assumption that assertiveness is easy or simple. You might think that assertiveness is something that you can do without any preparation, effort, or challenge, or that it will always work or be accepted. But this is not true. Assertiveness is not about being easy or simple, it's about being realistic and strategic. When you are assertive, you are not expecting miracles or perfection, you are expecting challenges and obstacles. You are also prepared and proactive, and you plan and practice your assertiveness before, during, and after the situation.

5 Myth 5: Assertiveness is always appropriate or necessary

Another common barrier to assertiveness is the misconception that assertiveness is always appropriate or necessary. You might think that assertiveness is something that you should always do or say, or that it is the only way to deal with any situation or person. But this is not true. Assertiveness is not about being always appropriate or necessary, it's about being selective and wise. When you are assertive, you are not following a rigid rule or a one-size-fits-all approach, you are following a flexible guideline and a situational approach. You are also aware and mindful, and you evaluate and decide when, where, how, and why to be assertive.

6 Myth 6: Assertiveness is the same as confidence

Another common barrier to assertiveness is the confusion between assertiveness and confidence. You might think that assertiveness is the same as confidence, or that it is a measure of your confidence, or that it will automatically increase your confidence. But this is not true. Assertiveness is not the same as confidence, it's a component of confidence. When you are assertive, you are not showing or proving your confidence, you are building and enhancing your confidence. You are also learning and growing, and you develop your confidence through your assertiveness.