If you’re like most folks, you’re thinking about what you want and how to get it. It may not surprise you that the folks you’re meeting with are thinking the same thing. You’re both scheming how to gain as much as you can from one another. Is that any way to build a relationship? Winning doesn’t have to be at someone’s expense. Instead of focusing on what you want, focus on how much you can accomplish together. In many cases you’ll gain more jointly than you could alone.

Communication is a critical component of building and creating rapport. But if you are unaware of your communication blind spots or challenges, it can damage rapport and trust without your realization. We all have blind spots in our communication, both what we send and receive. Knowing your Enneagram type helps you understand how and why you communicate and how you might distort what you hear, avoid saying what you need to say, what you need to be mindful of, your speaking style and body language (and how those are perceived by others) and, you'll understand their communication styles, too. Most importantly, you'll know what you can do to improve your communication to build positive, meaningful rapport, trust, and clarity.

Rapport is an important first step, however, in my experience, it is only a first step and more beneficial is establishing a relationship when possible. This can be done through genuine and continued connection and engagement to understand the party's interests, needs, and concerns and allow for them to understand yours clearly. This can help to create an environment where innovative and mutually beneficial solutions can be developed.

Establishing rapport through commonality is the first step towards creating trust amongst conflicting employees. First step is finding out what the parties can agree to. Having some level of commonality can help to build understanding.

Establishing rapport is the initial step in building trust. It involves creating a connection based on mutual respect and understanding. This can be achieved by active listening, showing empathy, and acknowledging the perspectives and feelings of each party. Taking the time to communicate openly and respectfully helps in laying the groundwork for trust to flourish.

Clear expectations are the bedrock of trust. In my leadership journey, I've found that laying out roles and responsibilities upfront sets the tone for a smooth conflict resolution. Open communication is key – not just about what I can do, but also about understanding what others need from the process. As a leader, it's vital to create an environment where team members feel heard. I often use open-ended questions to unravel expectations, ensuring everyone has a say. This not only builds trust but sparks a collaborative spirit. I've seen that when expectations are crystal clear, there's less room for misunderstandings, and the team can focus on common goals.

Marshall Rosenberg and his non/ violent communication offer sone valuable guidelines for approaching and supporting others in conflict. Here are the key points: 1. Avoid the "who's right" game; instead, focus on identifying everyone's needs. 2. Share observations, adopting a neutral perspective (like a fly on the wall) to prevent defensiveness and intensification of the conflict. 3. Be specific about your requests; for instance, rather than saying "be responsible," state "send me your report on time." 4. Assume good intentions, recognizing that every behavior stems from an underlying need. 5. Prioritize checking in with your feelings and needs first. Identify triggers, understand your needs, and explore differentstrategies to satisfy them.

Clear communication regarding expectations is vital in conflict resolution. Each party should articulate their needs, concerns, and desired outcomes. This helps in understanding the motivations and goals of all involved. Creating a shared understanding of what each party wants to achieve enables a more focused and collaborative approach toward resolution.

If you don’t value other people enough to be honest with them, at least show some respect for yourself. You know full well that what you’re doing is dishonest, and that should bother you. Rather than taking the high ground and being truthful, you’re taking the path of least resistance and dishonoring yourself in the process. While others choose to take the low road, you can choose the high road — and be a straight shooter. Doing so will earn the trust, confidence, and respect of others. But most importantly, you can be proud of what you do and who you are. What’s that worth? Everything! People who do what’s right never fear the truth.

Transparency is vital when it comes to building trust. During challenging times, transparency is necessary as this helps build accountability and ownership. A positive work environment where team members feel empowered to speak openly is essential to building trust. To encourage openness, ask questions and invite feedback often. Brainstorm with your team and be open to hearing their ideas. This should allow for exploration, experimentation, and risk-taking in a safe space, empowering employees to stretch beyond their comfort zone. This will help build a culture of transparency, accountability and collaboration.

Transparency plays a pivotal role in building trust. It involves sharing information openly and honestly. All parties must feel confident that information isn’t being withheld or manipulated. This transparency helps in dispelling doubts or suspicions, fostering an environment where trust can thrive.

The most effective teams have a clear sense of purpose and shared values. Leaders with a strong influence trust their teams, provide them with the support and freedom they need, and give feedback. They allow team members to use their strengths to achieve desired outcomes. Empowering employees contributes to business growth, enhances brand value, and attracts new talent. Trust forms the cornerstone of confidence, innovation, and collaboration, which leads to productive and healthy work relationships. When employees can use their strengths, they are more likely to reach their full potential and contribute to the team and organization's success.

The benefits of creating a win-win strategy are significant. When you have a self-serving mentality, you waste time posturing and game-playing, which ultimately leads to mistrust. Conversely, when you and a colleague (or organization) have a vested interest in achieving a common goal, you’ll work as a team. Every time you do something to benefit your teammate, you’re moving one-step closer to your goal. In all likelihood, they’ll reciprocate in kind, which will strengthen the relationship even more. Over time, this synergy of mutual benefit will take on a life of its own — small wins will create an incentive to explore new opportunities together. How much is that worth? Everything!

Encouraging collaboration shifts the focus from adversarial positions to cooperative problem-solving. By fostering an environment where all parties work together toward a shared goal, trust can develop naturally. Collaborative efforts allow for brainstorming solutions, considering diverse perspectives, and finding common ground, which strengthens the foundation of trust.

Consistent follow-up is crucial in ensuring that commitments made during conflict resolution discussions are upheld. Following up demonstrates accountability and a commitment to the agreed-upon resolutions. It reinforces the notion that all parties are invested in maintaining the newfound trust and are willing to take action to honor their commitments.

As one who has been called in to offer support for conflict inside an organization I have found that before building trust the facilitator, meditator, or leader must ask if where the parties stand in wanting to work through the conflict. A leader may perceive it as a conflict where it is possible that one or both of the parties don’t believe it to be a conflict. The other big piece people are missing is the restoring the harm piece, offering a true apology for actions not the “I’m sorry you feel that way” apology, and how best to move forward for all parties, the team, and organization. This also includes accountability which some organizations choose to overlook all too often. Please reach out if you are looking for support.

Let’s face it, you send a message with what you say AND what you do. If words aren’t supported with consistent actions, they will ring hollow. Someone once said, “Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold –– but so does a hard-boiled egg.”

To build trust in conflict, prioritize open communication, empathy, and understanding. Establish respectful dialogue channels, ensuring each party feels heard. Focus on common goals to shift from opposition to collaboration. Use active listening and acknowledge emotions to understand different perspectives. Promote transparency and consistency in actions and words. Create safe spaces for honest, judgment-free discussions. These emotionally intelligent and respectful strategies are key to fostering lasting trust.

The best way to build trust during conflict is to listen well and demonstrate empathy. People want you to see their perspective and to be understood, we all do-- It's a human need. That said, what I've gleaned from others who are better at conflict resolution than me, is they are good listeners, are engaged in the conversation, and communicate back to the other party that they understand their perspective, whether they agree with them or not.