It's an opportunity to build trust and encourage openness. Start by exploring their perspective—ask questions to understand their reservations, and listen to any concerns they might have about feedback. Frame feedback as a collaborative conversation rather than a directive, inviting them to share their own observations on their performance. Use specific examples, focusing on behaviors rather than personal characteristics, to make feedback more objective and actionable. Acknowledge their achievements to show you recognize their strengths, and emphasize that feedback is aimed at their growth. Over time, by demonstrating empathy and consistency, you can help them become more receptive and engaged in the process.

If my coachee disputes every piece of feedback, I remain patient and calm, focusing on understanding their perspective. I ask open-ended questions to explore their thoughts and feelings, encouraging them to reflect on the feedback in a non-defensive way. I try to frame the feedback as constructive, using specific examples and aligning it with their personal or professional goals. If resistance continues, I suggest a collaborative approach, where we identify actionable steps together, making the process feel more like a partnership. The goal is to build trust, demonstrate empathy, and help them see the value in growth opportunities.

When a coachee pushes back on every bit of feedback, I shift gears to understand their perspective. Instead of insisting, I ask, “What’s your take on this?” or “How does that align with your experience?” This approach makes it less about me pointing things out and more about us exploring together. I also keep it constructive—focusing on observations rather than judgments. If they keep resisting, I sometimes flip it, asking them to identify their own areas for improvement. It helps them take ownership and lowers the defenses, making feedback less of a battle and more of a shared discovery.

As a coach and mentor, I've had coachees who resisted feedback. At first, I found it challenging, but I learned that sometimes, people push back because they feel misunderstood or judged. So, I shifted my approach. Instead of telling them what to change, I started asking questions to help them reflect on their own work, like "What do you think went well?" or "What might you do differently next time?" This made a huge difference. They felt heard, and it helped them see feedback as a tool for growth, not criticism. Now, I see resistance as a signal to listen more closely, connect, and guide them to their own insights. In the end, it's about building trust and empowering them to improve.